get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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