Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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