yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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