Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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