so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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