If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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