I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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