Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
