Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
