we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
