A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
