how can u be prego again
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
