I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my vag is so smooth its legendary
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
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We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
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Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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