the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
