she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
