i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
