ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
