I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize