you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
