I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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