at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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