His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You are a genius and a whore.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
