I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Congratulations! We have a period
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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