Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
