is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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