how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
