that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
