The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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