Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
