Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
