just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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