no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He felt like a one man threesome
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
