Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
