At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
