You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Vodka?
Forever.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
