filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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