I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard