Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We are two peas in an std pod
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.