Dude i fell asleep inside of her
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.