And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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