this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Can I color on your dick again?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
