Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
