He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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