I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
