I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
