Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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