Define "chronic" masturbator.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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