3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
