so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
