youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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