omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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