M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
