Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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