id be glad to
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
