What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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