the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
