You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize