Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
