So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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