dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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