we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just high enough for therapy.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
