and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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