is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
